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The Real Laws: part 2

Sat, 02/17/2007 - 9:00am — dana

Last month I presented part I of Murphy’s Laws and my phone has not stopped ringing since. In order to satisfy the obvious high demand for more, I have decided to present the next 10 Laws, plus a bonus 2! This will no doubt be the end of Murphy’s Laws, Pink Slip version.

As a reminder: we are all governed by laws and rules: Federal, State, County, City, and in our case, down to the level of organizational By-Laws. There are certain laws that are so much a part of our existence that they cannot be broken, such as the Laws of Physics, and offered for your consideration: Murphy’s Laws.

Yes, that is plural. We are all familiar with Murphy’s Law: If anything can go wrong, it will. Many people, however, are not familiar with the many sub-laws and corollaries that comprise the universe of Murphy’s observations. As before, I must first reveal that I am not the inventor of these laws but merely the compiler. With that said, here is Part II:

  • In mathematics, you don’t understand things. You just get used to them.
  • If you take something apart and put it back together enough times, eventually you will have two of them.
  • Envelopes and stamps that don’t stick when you lick them will stick to other things when you don’t want them to.
  • Social legislation cannot repeal physical laws.
  • Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner of the workshop.
  • The one wrench or drill bit you need will be the one missing from the tool chest.
  • Beauty is only skin-deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
  • When any mechanical contrivance fails, it will do so at the most inconvenient possible time.
  • To err is human but to really foul thing up requires a computer.
  • Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by spontaneously moving from where you left them to where you can’t find them.
  • Bonus Law 1: Programming is like sex: one mistake and you’re providing support for a lifetime.
  • Bonus Law 2: Some people manage by the book, even though they don’t know who wrote the book or even what the book is.

    • There you have it: Part II of Murphy’s Laws that govern our daily lives. I hope that this has been a beneficial - and enjoyable - exercise for you!

    [Ed. Note: I will add Nancy's Corollary: The more involved the bureaucracy, the greater the propensity for designing the most complicated solution to a perceived problem.]