Kappa Beta Serving the transgendered community since 1988

"Tell everyone what you want to do and someone will want to help you do it." — W. Clement Stone

One thing we need to explain to people, somehow, is that "activist" does not mean "militant." You don't have to be right out front, leading the march. You don't have to be the one in the park burning some symbolic item. A person can, quite effectively, be what I call a "passive activist."

If you correct people who make stupid jokes about crossdressers or point out that not all crossdressers are drag queens, you are a passive activist. Just getting out "in drag" is activism of sorts; people will see you and know that you are not a monster; you've made an impression on them. The more they see us in a positive (or at least non-negative) light, the less likely they are to fight us.

The more store owners see us with our money, they more willing they are to serve us. The more often restaurants see us (and our money) and know that we aren't there to create a scene, the more willing they are to have us, even at the expense of less reliable customers.

One of my earliest memories as a young lad of eight was of a picture of a southern belle woman dressed in a beautiful Civil War era gown. That image stayed with me until this summer when I finally emailed a seamstress in NY about making a dress for me. She was delighted to do so and did a wonderful job for me. The next step was to find a place to wear this dress.

Talking feet? I've heard of noses running and feet smelling, but talking feet? Boy, Nancy really lost it now!

Just because you and I are crossdressing doesn't make us any less human, nor does it make us sinners. When you run into someone who treats you like that, just WALK away! Let your feet do the talking.

I have no idea why some people seem to think their opinion of you is any of your business, but they certainly seem to think they can express it in front of you. It runs from the turned head and little snicker, to telling everyone else that "there's a drag queen out here," to even refusing to provide you service.

By KC Tyler, from her Yahoo 360 page with permission

(I spent this week answering a TG questionnaire, which wanted to know “what message do you have for the TG community?” After discussing my answer with her, Shari Williams pointed out that if I have a message, I also have a vehicle to proclaim it. So here is my answer, expanded. I beg forgiveness from my non-crossdresser TG friends – to use a horrible Washington-esque phrase, I’m reaching out to my “base”.)

In my half-century of lifetime, I have seen a significant amount of progress in the conceptualization and perception of gender-diverse issues in the public eye. From my view at least, I’ve seen acceptance become relatively real for most of the Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual parts of the gender spectrum. We sit here in 2006 with an incredibly popular movie with a strong gay theme, television shows that directly deal with lesbianism, and popular personalities comfortable with admitting, even proclaiming, their homo/bisexuality. This is not the 1960’s anymore, to be sure! Even the transsexual aspects of the T-community are in the first throes of acceptance, and let's hope the well-deserved Oscar nomination for Felicity Huffman’s incredible performance in “Transamerica” will provide a significant boost to mass appreciation of the TS issues. But sadly, the heterosexual crossdresser community has almost no positive movement or insight. When the best that we (and I’m in this group) can point to is the brother on “The Drew Carey Show”, we haven’t gotten much traction. Oh well, I guess I’ll grow into my old age simply regretting that some Hollywood script writer thought gay cowboys worked better than cowboys dressed as women. Maybe it’ll happen someday, but alas, I will have missed it.

Bunk.

In March, Jennifer and I had the opportunity to visit a small class of seven individuals at UNCC. I found it unique inasmuch as these students are future professional counselors. It was an opportunity to give a bit of Gender 101 to the helping professionals of tomorrow.

One of the many topics we discussed coincides with Trish's excellent piece last month in which she shared how she found her own place in the gender spectrum. Specifically, each of us pointed out as they build their practice, they will likely counsel patients dealing with gender identity issues. Many of these patients will have a burning desire to become a woman/man, as the case may be. Most of them will desire to complete their transition in the shortest amount of time possible.