Kappa Beta Serving the transgendered community since 1988

Dear Walter:

I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a few hundred yards down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help.

When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was parading in front of the wardrobe mirror dressed in my underwear and high-heel shoes, and he was wearing my make up.

1. FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2. FIVE MINUTES: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3. NOTHING: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine."
4. GO AHEAD: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
5. LOUD SIGH: This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about "nothing." (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

Last month I presented part I of Murphy’s Laws and my phone has not stopped ringing since. In order to satisfy the obvious high demand for more, I have decided to present the next 10 Laws, plus a bonus 2! This will no doubt be the end of Murphy’s Laws, Pink Slip version.

As a reminder: we are all governed by laws and rules: Federal, State, County, City, and in our case, down to the level of organizational By-Laws. There are certain laws that are so much a part of our existence that they cannot be broken, such as the Laws of Physics, and offered for your consideration: Murphy’s Laws.

These are real laws that are on the books in the Carolinas.

We are all governed by laws and rules: Federal, State, County, City, and in our case, down to the level of organizational By-Laws. There are certain laws that are so much a part of our existence that they cannot be broken, such as the Laws of Physics, and, may I also offer, Murphy’s Laws.

Yes, that is plural. We are all familiar with Murphy’s Law: "If anything can go wrong, it will." Many people however are not familiar with the many sub-laws that comprise the totality of Murphy’s observations. I will cover ten of them in this article, and perhaps others in the future. I must first reveal that I am not the inventor of these laws, but merely the compiler.