Kappa Beta Serving the transgendered community since 1988

Let's get the technical stuff out of the way first. Last August I received a shot of Lupron for a medical condition. One use of Lupron medication (usually administered via a shot by a urologist) is to shrink the prostate gland. The shot can be sized for one-month, three-months or four-months in duration. (It also can be administered by mouth on a daily basis.) Lupron works by stopping the production of sex hormones – testosterone for prostate shrinkage. Testosterone is fuel to the prostate, thus when the fuel supply is cut off, the prostate shrinks. Lupron is not like Spironolactone, or other androgen suppressors, which just inhibit the effects of testosterone, not the production of testosterone. Since Lupron stops the production of sex hormones, the production of estrogen is also shut-down. (Males produce small amounts of estrogen, just not as much as females do.) Without sex hormones, the libido goes into hiding.

As an added "bonus," hot flashes and night sweats are a daily (hourly!) occurrence while Lupron is in the system. I am not sure what mechanism causes the hot flashes and night sweats, but to this lay girl's way of thinking, I would go for the lack of estrogen (since it is the lack of estrogen in menopausal women that causes the flashes and sweats). But the medical profession states it is the lack of testosterone (in males) that creates the flashes and sweats. Once the Lupron wears off, the hot flashes and night sweats disappear and the libido returns to normal; or at least to what it was before the shot was administered. (As an aside, Lupron is also used to "chemically castrate" pedophiles.)

So what is all this technical stuff doing in the Pink Slip? I learned quite a few things about myself while the Lupron medication was in effect and I would like to share some of these discoveries with my sisters in Kappa Beta: Firstly, I learned that all men should have a few hot flashes/night sweats so that they might be more compassionate with the women in their lives.

Secondly, I believe I have discovered just where I reside on the "gender spectrum." Our dear Pam often refers to this spectrum, both in verbal discussions and in writings on her beautiful website, (Pamela's Place). The phrase "gender spectrum" implies that people cannot be divided into just two distinct genders, "100% female" and "100% male" – there must be a continuous spectrum of gender between "all female" and "all male." Near the "all male" end of the spectrum are those males (in the case of MTF gender issues) that identify – however slightly – with being a woman and dress only rarely or only partially dress. Near the "all female" end of the spectrum are those that are born with a male body, yet are definitely women. (People at this end of the spectrum will, in all likelihood, transition to an "all female" body via surgery.) No matter whether you are near the "all male" end of the spectrum, near the "all female" end of the spectrum or somewhere in between, if you identify with the opposite gender, I would consider you to be transgender (TG).

We have all learned by now that science has yet to discover what makes a person's gender what it is. Early in life, my dressing was definitely a sexual turn-on (or as Stephanie Marie says, "Intoxicating") and I loved my "second self." It was not until later in life that I learned dressing is also a gender issue with me, meaning that being womanlike is, in itself, a pure joy. Like many girls in Kappa Beta, at times my desire to be a woman is so strong that I wonder if I should surgically transition, or at least go on hormones. At other times, I believe that being womanlike is enough. However, during the whole six months that the Lupron was working inside my body, I only dressed – at most – three times. (Doctors contend that the shot's effect on the libido lasts only four months, but it really does not wear off for six months!) What does mean?

I believe it means that, as much as I enjoy exploring the feminine side of my gender makeup, my dressing is still driven in a large degree by hormones. This may explain why many girls who have had an orchiectomy (castration) to stop the production of testosterone, lose interest in dressing. (For a graphic discussion by a person who lost interest after an orchiectomy, go to http://www.geocities.com/brianne669/page4.) Quoting from that website; "It is now a little over 4 months since my procedure . . . (and) I still really have no desire to complete the transition (meaning SRS).  I think I'm quite happy with the way I am now.  I rarely have thoughts of transitioning, or anything remotely related.  I used to yearn to wear women's clothing so that I could feel more feminine, but I don't even have that desire anymore.  Since that desire is now gone, I've gotten rid of all of my female clothing, and have had no regrets."

Wow! Think of the irony of it all. Testosterone has always been associated with masculinity, thus it would be natural to associate lack of testosterone with femininity. What do we discover? In many transgender males, turning off the testosterone turns off the desire to be feminine. There are only three words to describe this: ironic, ironic, ironic.

A few years ago, I quit questioning the why of my gender issues, but now I think the why of dressing is of some importance. Before considering surgery (either an orchiectomy or full SRS), it would be of great benefit to know what creates the desire to dress. If the desire to dress is testosterone-driven, one is probably not a good candidate for such surgery. Exactly how one knows what the driving force to dress is, remains a mystery. (And will continue to be a mystery, unless one wants to fork out $2,600 for a Lupron shot!)

Just thought you would like to know. (Oh, I forgot to mention, testosterone is back and Trish is dressing again!