Kappa Beta Serving the transgendered community since 1988

Talking feet? I've heard of noses running and feet smelling, but talking feet? Boy, Nancy really lost it now!

Just because you and I are crossdressing doesn't make us any less human, nor does it make us sinners. When you run into someone who treats you like that, just WALK away! Let your feet do the talking.

I have no idea why some people seem to think their opinion of you is any of your business, but they certainly seem to think they can express it in front of you. It runs from the turned head and little snicker, to telling everyone else that "there's a drag queen out here," to even refusing to provide you service.

Your money is the same color as everyone else's; and you are a human being. If a store owner or service provider doesn't want your money, then you probably don't want to do business with them any way. They won't be around that much longer with an attitude like that.

Recently, another member of KB shared a story with me. She was interested in that new "instant face lift" technique and went to see a doctor about it. In discussing it with the nurse, she mentioned her being a crossdresser. The nurse immediately cautioned her not to mention it to the doctor because he is a Christian. When our friend said "So am I," the nurse responded, "No, he's a DEVOUT Christian."

Well, sure enough, when our friend showed him a picture of herself dressed, he got huffy and refused to have anything more to do with her. Who lost out? There are plenty of other doctors who will do the procedure, so one of them will get the money. Our friend is talking with her feet.

I went to a well-known fast food drive-through one evening when I didn't feel like cooking. I was dressed. I got the little snickers at the pay window. But when I got to the window where you get the food, the young guy there made a pointed effort to say "Here you are, SIR." I should have stopped and demanded to see the manager, but I was tired. But I'm talking with my feet. I may yet go back some day and see if they've learned any manners, but in the meantime, they are losing my business.

Now, don't get me wrong, there are times you should talk with your mouth. Pick your battles wisely. And remember that even if you don't win this time, they have been exposed one more time to diversity and eventually it will all add up and they'll change their attitude.

If you do talk to someone, don't demand that someone be fired - there are worse penalties. For example, the guy at the restaurant works shifts. It would be even more embarrassing for him to have to brief the incoming and outgoing shifts on why he has to stand in front of them and explain how he insulted a customer. And if he had to do this for a week, I'd bet he'd quit. The manager might learn something too.

You don't have to take the abuse that we all experience sooner or later. But you also don't have to fight a losing battle. They're in business to make money; don't give them any more of yours. And don't hesitate to spread the word. The rest of us don't need to go there either. The GLBT community represents about 20% of the population (yep, it's that high!); they will feel the pinch.