Kappa Beta Serving the transgendered community since 1988

In March, Jennifer and I had the opportunity to visit a small class of seven individuals at UNCC. I found it unique inasmuch as these students are future professional counselors. It was an opportunity to give a bit of Gender 101 to the helping professionals of tomorrow.

One of the many topics we discussed coincides with Trish's excellent piece last month in which she shared how she found her own place in the gender spectrum. Specifically, each of us pointed out as they build their practice, they will likely counsel patients dealing with gender identity issues. Many of these patients will have a burning desire to become a woman/man, as the case may be. Most of them will desire to complete their transition in the shortest amount of time possible.

The road to happiness is different for each of us and is almost always full of potholes. It is natural for each human being to desire progress. It is understandable a person newly out would suddenly think if it's fun to be a woman part-time or weekends, it must be even more fun to be a woman fulltime. I had a conversation this week with someone who had never considered the possibility of a middle ground. She was comforted by the concept.

Transition does not solve problems. What transition can do is make a person more comfortable in their daily life. If someone is miserable before transition, they will almost certainly be miserable post transition, or post surgery. It is impossible to shed a lifetime of baggage. It can be tried for a period of time, but the baggage ticket remains in the soul, ready to be reclaimed at a moment's notice.

People are probably weary of my saying this, but the ultimate measure of progress is when we are happy with the person we see in the mirror, and with our direction in life. For some, this will mean being a part-time crossdresser. For others, it will mean transitioning into our chosen gender role. One is no more advanced or less validating than the other, only different.

As the little rhyme says, "The only person whose test we must pass, is the girl we see when we look in the glass."